The Good:
Once again, the voice acting is superb. Of course, Jennifer Hale as FemShep was outstanding, but the other voice actors were also excellent. Even the background characters sounded real and fleshed out- something that is a rarity in most video games. I only played as a female Shepard, so I have no clue how the voice acting for male Shepard was. The only character whose voice acting I could not stand was the war reporter, Diana Allers (voiced by Jessica Chobot). It was very clear, especially in comparison to the other characters, that Jessica Chobot is not an actress. Her lines were stilted and not very convincing.

The characters themselves are also a high point. Old friends and enemies show up in various ways, and getting to talk to them (even briefly) made me very happy. The people who have been interacting with since Mass Effect 1, Kaiden, Ashley, Joker Wrex, Garrus, Tali, and Liara have grown and developed in a way that is realistic. Even the squadmate you did not save (in my case, Kaiden) is mentioned numerous times, making your relationships seem much more real. A few new characters appear, such as James Vega. At first I didn’t know what to think about him, but in the end I really enjoyed talking to him. He is pretty damn hilarious, and his conversations with other crew members on the Normandy were a high point. One of the best parts was hearing the characters interact with one another. As I ran from one part of the Normandy to another, I would walk in on shipmates talking with each other. Liara would be talking to Garrus, Joker and Edi would be mid conversation, etc. Stopping to listen to these conversations was fun and enlightening.

Shep is back and she's as badass as ever (or 'he' if you prefer).

The story itself was also great. You start off with Earth being attacked by the Reapers, and it just goes non-stop from there. It is up to you, as Commander Shepard, to reunite the races for the upcoming war. This is not an easy task, and centuries of mistrust and bad blood run through all of the races. Supporting the Krogan to help cure the genophage will result in the losing the support of the Salarians. The Quarian and Geth conflict also comes to a head. It is possible to get almost all of the factions on your side, but you have to play an almost perfect game.

The Average:
The combat system has improved even more from Mass Effect 2, but compared to most shooters it’s still average. There is a new cover system that is good in theory, but doesn’t always work in practice. Many times I found myself running to a point, only to suddenly find myself in cover, facing the wrong way and getting shot at. This was frustrating and made what could have been a really good combat system hard to work with at times. The best improvement was allowing all classes to carry any weapon they want. This is balanced out with a weight system- the heavier the weapons, the longer it takes your powers to cool down. I played as an infiltrator, and after I got an awesome sniper rifle, I only carried that. As a result of having only one weapon, my powers cooled down within seconds, allowing me to use them more often.

Bioware took the complaints of Mass Effect 2 leveling up system to heart and tweaked it for the third game. It has much more of an RPG feel to it, similar to the first game, without all the issues. You have many more choices when leveling up powers, and modifying your weapons is satisfying and shows actual changes. You still don’t have the depth that was available in Mass Effect 1, but I think Bioware found a good balance between RPG and Third Person Shooter.

Multiplayer is something that was added for the third game. It directly affects the single player game by helping your “galactic readiness.” You and three people can choose between the 6 classes and various races and have to hold off ten waves of either geth, reapers, or Cerberus troops and survive. Sprinkled in the 10 waves are different objectives, so you aren’t able to just camp out and shoot people. I played both with random people and with friends, and it is much more satisfying with friends. This is a game you need to communicate with your teammates, and it’s much easier to do that with friends. Plus, who hasn’t wanted to play as a Krogan?

Go ahead punk make my day

Kinect voice commands were also added to Mass Effect 3. I do not have a Kinect, so I was not able to test it myself, but I had a friend (and fellow Mass Effect junkie) test it out for me and give me her results. She said it took a while to get used to using it in combat, but once she got the hang of it she loved yelling out commands during battles and seeing squadmates react. She enjoyed it the most during conversations. She was able to put down the controller and get into the scene, and just speak the prompts and watch her Shepard react. Other people have told me they have trouble with the Kinect system, and there is not guide on what commands to use, so a lot of it is a guessing game on what you should exactly be yelling.

The Bad:
The scanning system is back. No, you aren’t scanning for minerals like in Mass Effect 2, or driving around planets on the Mako finding hunks of rocks, but it’s still just as irritating. Now you fly your Normandy around the galaxy map, and scan the systems for “war assets” that help you in your cause. That in itself is not a bad thing, but now if you scan too much, the Reapers fly in and you have to evade them. Essentially you are playing Pac-Man with the Reapers. I found this system to be jarring and it took me out of the game.

If you play the game without playing Mass Effect 1 and 2 first, you will have a perfectly fine game, but I don’t think you will be getting the full experience. As much as Bioware claims you can jump in without playing the first two, I think that is doing yourself a grave disservice. Part of my enjoyment of the game was seeing the loads of people from the first two games show up. Actions I did in the first two games directly affected my galactic readiness. Conversations that brought up past actions were common. I can’t imagine I would have any clue what was going on if I hadn’t played the first two games. I cried a few times during the game when certain characters died. I don’t know if the emotional impact would have been there if I hadn’t gotten to know the characters previously. This is truly the end of a trilogy. It would be like reading the last book in a trilogy without reading the first two. You will probably enjoy it, but miss a lot of the backstory and richness of the culture and world as a whole.

The Romance:
Bioware certainly stepped up the gay factor on this one, and I love it. Our gay brothers finally get same sex romance options. Yes, that’s plural. There are two males that can romanced by a male Shepard: Kaiden and Cortez, a shuttle pilot. For the ladies, there are three options. First, you can continue your romance with Liara, start a relationship with your com officer Samantha Traynor (lesbian only romancable by female Shepard), or hook up with war reporter Diana Allers. You can also continue your relationships from Mass Effect 2, with a few exceptions. I found my relationship with Liara to be the most in depth one of the three ladies. You have many conversations with her about the past, the future, and your relationship. I haven’t done that much processing since my last real life relationship. The romance with Samantha Traynor was sweet and definitely sexy (one word: shower.) I thought the relationship with Diana Allers was forced and not very realistic, and was my least favorite of all them, gay or straight.

Great game and then there was that ending we can't discuss due to spoilers.

I applaud Bioware for taking the time to add the same-sex relationships to Mass Effect 3. It made the universe seem much more realistic. You will randomly hear conversations from people of both sexes talk about their husbands and wives, and no one so much as bats an eye. The first time I talked to the shuttle pilot Cortez and he casually mentioned he lost his husband, I about dropped my controller in shock. My second thought was “That was so cool!” It takes a lot to shock me in a video game, and Bioware did it in a good way. My only complaint was that I was unable to romance Ashley Williams as a female Shepard. Kaiden is romanceable by both genders, but Ashley is not? I don’t understand why that was overlooked, Ashley really grew on me over three games and I would have loved have romanced her. That is, hoever, a small complaint in what is otherwise a great game.

The Ending:
No, I won’t spoil the ending for you. All I will say is that I thought the last 5 minutes were jarring and seemed very out of place in the Mass Effect Universe. The “optimal” ending (or what constitutes as one) is up for debate, and is very difficult to get if you do not play multiplayer. Not impossible, but difficult. If anyone wants to talk more about the ending privately, feel free to PM me on the forum (Name: Xan) or hit me up on the Lesbian Gamers Facebook page and I am willing to discuss the ending in depth. But it does bring closure to the end of a trilogy, and that is the important thing.

Overall, it’s a satisfying conclusion to 6 years, three games, and countless novels and comics. I love this universe, I love Commander Shepard, and I did love this game. It has some flaws, and there are a few things I wish was done different, but I felt like it was telling MY story of MY Shepard. In the end, I think that was what made the game great.

NHL 12 Review

Story
Brendan Shanahan, long time NHL player and future Hall of Famer, was once asked if playing hockey was hard. “Is hockey hard? I don’t know, you tell me. We need to have the strength and power of a football player, the stamina of a marathon runner, and the concentration of a brain surgeon. But we need to put all this together while moving at high speeds on a cold and slippery surface while 5 other guys use clubs to try and kill us, oh yeah did I mention that this whole time we’re standing on blades 1/8 of an inch thick? Is ice hockey hard? I don’t know, you tell me. Next question.” There is no doubt that the men and women who play the fastest sport on Earth have to have plenty of skill and determination. For the rest of us who enjoy the sport, but can barely stand on skates let alone put a puck past a goaltender, NHL 12 is there to let you suit up and skate with some of the best.

Gameplay
NHL 12 gives you so many different ways to play hockey that you’re not likely to be done by the time NHL 13 rolls around. The previous incarnations of the series established solid options for players who enjoy different things. NHL 12 is no different. You can play a casual game, practice your skills alone or with the team, pit your team against anyone else in the NHL and a smattering of other leagues included in the game or settle in for some serious action. Be a GM, a standard feature now, lets you be an armchair General Manager and trade and draft your way to a winning team. For an online flavour of building a competitive team, last year’s Hockey Ultimate Team mode has been brought back and refined to let budding strategists jockey their way to the top.

The Be a Pro mode’s options have been vastly improved. The ability to play a custom-made character, an existing NHL player in the midst of his career or a kid from major junior hockey throughout his whole career gives you a chance to keep coming back to the game and building on what you’ve done before. This year EA has given players the opportunity to import their NHL 11 profile to continue playing the career that may not have been finished before NHL 12 was released. No more having to give up a year’s worth of gaming and start over as a rookie!

NHL 12 has stepped up the game with plenty of new features as well as improvements on existing features. The Winter Classic, held outdoors on New Year’s Day every year now, is a great addition. Many teams will never get to participate in the real Winter Classic due to their location (for example, we’ll never see the Phoenix Coyotes take on the Tampa Bay Lightning because hockey in the desert and sub-tropics doesn’t lend itself to outdoor games), but players who are also fans are able to send their teams out into the snow to battle for bragging rights and two regular season points.

The introduction of hockey legends as unlockable characters is another much-touted addition to this year’s game. Retired players have been off-limits in the past unless you used the Creation Zone to build them from scratch. Now, through reaching various goals (the out of character gaming kind, not the kind that lights the red light and makes goalies annoyed), the likes of greats Wayne Gretzky and Steve Yzerman can be unlocked for use on any team and give a boost to current rosters battling for the Stanley Cup.

For a newcomer to the series, the controls take some getting used to. There are tutorial options for those who like to be walked through how to get the buttons and joysticks to do what you want. However, the controls are intuitive enough that fumbling through a few games will teach even a casual gamer how to throw a hit, make a pass and aim towards the net in hopes of getting a goal.

Graphics
Every year the graphics in the NHL series improve. The most noticeable difference in NHL 12 comes with the upgrade of the physics engine. Hits are more realistic and bone-shaking, and passing and shooting feels as smoothly as it should when you’re sliding a puck along a sheet of ice. The level of detail going into not only the gameplay, but each individual player, continues to improve every year. With the sheer number of players available, not every player’s features are accurate (many default to basic features that look nothing like the actual person), but they have stars like Alex Ovechkin’s crooked nose and Henrik and Daniel Sedin’s small mouths and knitted brows down perfectly.

Female Character Angle
Hold the phone. This year there actually is a female character angle. Previously, the series has been the exclusive domain of big, bulky men, many with crooked noses and scars galore (and yes, the mullets too). EA has taken a step in the right direction for making the NHL series more female-inclusive. After a letter from a young female fan requesting a female avatar be inserted into the game for use in Be a Pro and the Creation Zone in general, EA’s NHL team in Vancouver went ahead and did just that. The options are limited to two generic heads, as opposed to the multitude of customisation options that the male avatars have, but it’s a great start and hopefully one that will continue to develop in future incarnations of the series.

Overall
NHL 12 is an impressive step up from NHL 11, which was an impressive step up from NHL 10. The team at EA Sports that develops the NHL series take on board player feedback each year and the amount of effort that goes into not only the big, flashy additions but the small details that make the game is obvious. Every year takes a step towards creating a more realistic hockey gaming experience while giving players plenty of customisation and gameplay options to keep it fun. NHL 12 is such a big step up from NHL 11 with the new features and the improvements on the old that it is definitely worth checking out for anyone who already plays this series. Gamers who are into sports games in general or hockey in general would do well to check out NHL 12 as well. It’s a well-designed game that caters to a broad audience. The gameplay is fun to tinker with casually or to spend countless hours scrambling up the points ladder.
9/10

Alice: Madness Returns – Has it really been 11 years since we were graced with the joy of American McGee’s Alice on PC? As someone who is more of a console gamer than a PC gamer, back then, American McGee’s Alice was just too good to resist. The game was creepy, gothic, funny and engaging, and by using the Quake 3 engine, it was a game that was definitely advanced for it’s time.

Story
Now here we are in 2011 and we have American McGee back, brining us more trippy gameplay from the dark and unnerving Alice, in Alice: Madness Returns on Xbox 360. The story kicks off with Alice as a teenager, under the watchful eye of Dr Bumby, a psychiatrist. For those who have played the first game, this probably isn’t too much of a surprise, since Alice’s mind and her adventures in wonderland have clearly taken their toll on her idea of reality. The story progresses from there, and it’s not long until Alice is thrown back into a world of gory, creepy, gothic horror.

Gameplay
Alice: Madness Returns, is a solid platformer which has its fair share of hack and slash goodness. The controls feel effortless and you can easily shrink Alice down to enable her access to smaller areas in the game. The weapons such as the Vorpal knife and the pepper-grinder, are sufficiently gruesome and weird that they fit perfectly into the overall feel of the game. At times there are plenty of enemies on screen and the AI is pretty good, so the controls and the weapons work perfectly well together to make hacking and slashing your way through levels quite enjoyable. You can lock on to target and kill them at long range, as well as hop around on different levels to avoid them if you need to. As well as Alice’s excellent fighting abilities, she’s also perfectly capable of jumping and floating effortlessly around the levels. The checkpoints are strategically placed so that it doesn’t become infuriating if you need to do part of a level again and the fact you can’t fall off ledges helps ensure you make it through many levels unscathed. There’s no multiplayer in Alice, which is probably how it should be, but there are cute rhythm mini-games in it, although you don’t need to play these if you don’t want to.

Graphics
One of the most impressive aspect of this title is the graphics. From the beginning, it has a very surreal feeling to it, reminiscent of the French animated classic “The Triplets of Bellville”. NPC’s are as full of character in their faces as the characters you can interact with and you feel that Alice’s madness pours out through the depiction of these characters beautifully. The backgrounds and levels of the game are also absolutely gorgeous to look at, accurately representing Alice’s troubled mind. The game grabs you with it’s aesthetics and although there are a few pop up issues here and there, the frame-rate is solid throughout.

Audio
As with the graphics, sound plays an important part of this title and the creepy score which accompanies the game is spot on. It adds to the overall experience and the dialogue from the characters is great. At times it becomes a little cliched, but there are some stand out characters, including of course the dryness of the Cheshire Cat. Alice herself sounds a lot like Lara Croft which is always a nice bonus.

Female Character Angle
Obviously the female character is the lead character in this title, so it’s always welcome to see that. Alice is a very interesting character and her background and decent to madness is quite gripping. Through the 15 hours or so it takes to play the game, you’ll find yourself becoming more and more intertwined in Alice’s psyche and she’s definitely a character that can hold her own on screen.

Overall
Alice: Madness Returns is a welcome return to gaming for American McGee. The game is eerie, interesting, gory, surreal and extremely dark. It’s a very close likeness to Lewis Carroll’s original vision for Alice and the levels and gameplay compliment this perfectly. If you haven’t played the original, you can still pick this up and will enjoy it as it’s a solid platformer with great aesthetic touches.

8/10

Hey guys welcome to my review of “Child of Eden”, if I sound excited to be reviewing this title, I am, because in a word, it is awesome. “Child of Eden” is a music game with a difference, for those gamers familiar with the likes of “Rez” you’re going to go one better here with “Child of Eden”. The game was created by Tetsuya Mizuguchi, best known for the aforementioned music game “Rez”, and was developed by Q Entertainment and published by Ubisoft.

It’s hard to explain, so I’ve included a lovely trailer. Essentially “Child of Eden” is an on-rails shooter that utilizes music in a powerful way. Q? and Ubisoft have worked wonders here, though having said that, “Child of Eden” is not going to appeal to every gamer.

The real magic of “Child of Eden” lay in its immersion, if you can lose yourself within the beats and the colorful graphics, you’re in for something really special. As you’ll see on the boxart, “Child of Eden” also features the “Better With Kinect” label, meaning you can play a slightly enhanced version if you have a Kinect Sensor. Personally I wouldn’t bother, the standard game itself was enough to keep me entertained for many hours, but if you have Kinect it’s good to get up off your butt and use your hands as the controller.

So how does it work? As stated “Child of Eden” is an on rails shooter, you ‘fly’ through levels locking onto various things and shooting the enemies before you take damage, a simple enough premise. As mentioned, if you have Kinect, you can up the stakes somewhat by using your hands to sweep across the enemies as you fire with your other hand. Simple yet engaging.

Now for the downsides, well as I kind of tried to cover, if you’re not into these types of games, “Child of Eden” may well leave you bored. If however you can let yourself become immersed in the colors and music, you’re in for a real treat, both audibly and visually. Length of play may put some off paying full price, given it won’t take you too long to play through (I think it took me about 6 hours), but the replay value is pretty high. A somewhat odd story also isn’t fantastic, but you know what, who cares, “Child of Eden” is a feel good game that works with Kinect. I say at the very least this is a rental, though I don’t feel in anyway guilty for telling you to just go out and buy it, you won’t be sorry.

Hooooo boy, where to begin. Okay positivity is good, so I’ll start this “PlayStation Move Ape Escape” game review by saying I liked “Ape Escape” on the PS2, when it was fun, fresh and a bit silly. The “Ape Escape” franchise has been bobbing along for over ten years and in that time we’ve seen a couple of great additions, sadly “PlayStation Move Ape Escape” is not one of them.

Female gamer angle, right, well the overall story is built around an all female affair, with two girls trying to find their missing granny. The story isn’t going to keep you gripped, there’s little depth and sense, but then the “Ape Escape” games aren’t overly known for their in-depth character driven stories. Still at least there’s some female character goodness.

There’s two ways to play “PlayStation Move Ape Escape”, Story Mode and Mini Games. Unlike other “Ape Escape” titles, the idea here isn’t to catch mischievous monkeys, these monkeys sort of drop in via UFO’s, again, with little sense. Things are also now on rails, rather than running around an open level looking for the cheeky guys. So what we have is an on rails shooter that sees you shoot the monkeys and the UFO’s or use the net to catch them. The whole thing feels more than a little flat.

The PlayStation Move controller does the job, it just doesn’t help the game is a bit of a dog after the initial fun wears away. I hate writing such a short review, but fellow gamers, there really isn’t much more to say, this is an average video game aimed – one imagines – squarely at the kiddie market, with its bright colors, simple setup and naff story.

Given just how good the initial couple of “Ape Escape” titles were, this is a sad state of affairs, the addition of the PlayStation Move does little to add to the game, even though it does work accurately. The charm and fun of the original is lost in “PlayStation Move Ape Escape” which feels like a free demo as opposed to a full game. No monkey business here, just an unpolished, slightly below average title. Shame.

Hedkandi Kandis in-ear headphones for gaming…
Of the two sets we were sent, the Hedkandi Kandies would be the headphones (earphones) we would use for portable gaming and for the price point (around 7UKP) they’re not too bad, with good clarity and connector. These are low end earphones though and feature no noise reduction or other glitzy options available with other makes.

Tech Specs:
Driver Size: 13mm
Frequency Response: 12-20,000Hz
Impedence: 160hms
Sensitivity: 103dB
Max input power: 50mW
Cable Length: 1.3m

Hedkandi Ministry of Sound headphones
Let’s say this right of the bat, the hedkandi Ministry of Sound headphones are essentially the hedkandi discotheque headphones with a nice Ministry of Sound logo on them. Technically speaking you’re looking at padded over-ear headphones in a few different colors.

Let’s think about these from a videogaming perspective. As mentioned hedkandi don’t do specific gaming earphones / headphones because they are essentially a music company, pushing Hed Kandi dance music. Having said that, for the price bracket these aren’t that bad for gaming, the only downside we had was cable length, which comes in at only 1.5m, nowhere near long enough for you to couch sit whilst playing.

Here’s the tech specs:
Driver diameter: 40mm
frequency response: 20-20,000Hz
impedence: 32 Ohms
sensitivity: 108 dB
max input power: 100 mW
cable length: 1.5m

At around 18UKP the hedkandi discotheque / Ministry of Sound headphones are pretty good, but for the gamer there are better headphones on the market. The main downside of larger gaming regular headsets is of course the lack of USB connectivity for the PC gamer and of course the hedkandi headphones feature no built in mic for in-game chat. If it’s just purely a listening experience you’re after, both of these headphones will do the job, with clarity being pretty good as entry level peripherals. For the hardcore gamer though hedkandi is more suited to the music fan than the video gamer.

This is my first video game review for Thumb Bandits, a site I have looked to for many a year for my video gaming news and reviews. The first game I am reviewing is none other than Rockstar Games “L.A. Noire” which released just last week. I have spent many – MANY – an hour with “L.A. Noire” and I have also read many a review. You may wonder why read reviews of a game I have already purchased, why not, reviews are generally a goldmine of information, even for those games that adorn my gaming cabinet. I am flabbergasted by the reviews I have read for “L.A. Noire” and believe many reviewers are blinded by how very pretty the game is and by the name Rockstar, after all, they generally make great games.

Let us begin with a brief rundown of “L.A. Noire”. You play as Cole Phelps, a Los Angeles detective back in the 1940′s. This is a sandbox game that sees the player go from quest to quest in linear fashion as the story opens up. There are also some side missions the player can do if they want. There is little doubt Phelps is a wonderful character, but he sits within a game that relies too heavily on aimless driving, pointless exposition, sloppy investigative runs and confusing script. Harsh? Not really, I’m just choosing to look at the game via a medium other than rose tinted glasses, or what I thought it would be as opposed to what it actually is.

At the start of the game, you may well be blown away by the ‘noire’ feel and all those actors / characters that you’ve seen on TV, but after a few hours it felt – at least to me – that this was just a repetitive, slow, confused muddle of something fantastic floundering in something fairly mediocre. This is Rockstar rehashed, there’s driving, hopping in and out of cars (to ‘collect’ them), more driving, almost getting to your actual main story destination, only to get a call to the opposite side of town for another mundane chase (in car or on foot) that leads to a shoot out. Mixed in with this Rockstar norm is the addition of gathering evidence, sounds awesome right? Not so much. Turn up at a crime scene or place of interest to your investigation, take a look around. The controller vibrates when you’re near evidence, so you’ll know to pick it up, only problem is other stuff that isn’t evidence also vibrates. By the time you’ve picked up that 5th hairbrush, wondering if this time, it is actually evidence, you’ll surely to God start wondering what the frack all these 10 out of 10 review ratings are about. Add to this the ‘truth’, ‘doubt’, ‘lie’ choices when you’re questioning someone and how frustrating this can be and you should be scratching your head wondering if those gaming magazines lied to you.

Good stuff? Sure “L.A. Noire” has a fair amount of good stuff, that’s why this is a good game and not a bad game. As I mentioned, the graphics are almost faultless, at least with regards to character animation. Touches also exist within the actual framework of the game mechanic that are clever, but they somehow feel an ill thought out addition, as opposed to something that flows. Herein lay the problem. “L.A. Noire” is a pastiche of the great and the mundane, and somehow, beyond all of the fervor, all of the anticipation, the mundane kicks the greats ass nine times out of ten.

As briefly mentioned, the presentation is sublime in “L.A. Noire”, but remember that bitch in school who all the boys (and some of the girls) thought was “soooo hot”, but when they got to know her they realized looks aren’t everything, she’s “L.A. Noire” in human form.

Repetition is something most modern day video games suffer from, but it needs to be pinned together with a story that is captivating and intriguing, but not so much that it’s confusing. Again “L.A. Noire” fails, with its staggered three tier story narrative and a lead character we can’t ever truly know or become emotionally attached to. Cole Phelps back-story and what he does in the ‘present’ are completely at odds with one another, leading to this sort of dissonance of thought from the player.

Don’t even get me started about his actual ‘family’ or lack thereof. This is somewhat saved later in the game and more specifically in the last half hour of the story, but by then, all that picking up hairbrushes and wooden spoons, along with driving from one end of a fairly dead sandbox is so ingrained in your memory, you’re kind of glad it’s over, or at least I was.

I’ve been told to cover the female component of the game, because ThumbBandits specialize in highlighting this area, though there really isn’t much on the positive here. As with most Rockstar titles, it’s almost as if the developer has no idea how to slot in good female characters. They’re all props or tools to push the story forth. Needless to say given the setting, there are no cool female detectives.

So why are all the gaming sites giving this title 9 or 10 out of 10? I don’t know, perhaps I’m wrong, games are subjective. Seriously, if you have played the game yourself and enjoyed it, when you truly start to dissect the title, what conclusion do you reach? Do you honestly feel “L.A. Noire” is an almost perfect video game and that it brings something new that takes it to that top tier? Is it so good at everything it does…. the environment, sound, story and gameplay, that you would rate it higher than say “Uncharted” or “Mass Effect”? If the graphics were poor and it didn’t feature recognizable actors from TV shows, would the gameplay in “L.A. Noire” truly stand up as being so amazing, so refreshed that it would warrant 9 or 10 out of 10? As a gamer and reviewer, my personal answer is no, which is why I’ve given the game a *7, with 5 being average and 7 good solid game that is above average, but nowhere near perfection.

*Note we review out of 5 here at ThumbBandits, but we’ve left this original score in the body of the text as originally written.

Recently, I had the chance to play the iOS remake of the original wildly popular Final Fantasy game. It was this game that led to an epic series of Final Fantasy games, numbering in the dozens (not to mention the countless spin-offs), and spanning several generations of consoles. This is the game that all of the older generations of gamers talk about, it was something that I had never experienced for myself.

So, I set out to see what all the hype was about.

Gameplay + Combat
Final Fantasy, as I said before, is the root to all of the other Final Fantasy games that have been made. It was the base concepts of this game that were built on. That being said, it stands pretty well on it’s own. The combat is built on a turned based system. Each character has the options of Attacking, Using an Item, Magic, Defending, or Fleeing. While it works rather well, it does have it’s downsides. For example, it gets really frustrating when, in the higher level dungeons, the enemies somehow almost always get to attack first. This minor inconvenience can be a problem in two ways. The first is when you have 9 enemies facing you. Each one gets to attack you before you even get the chance to do anything. The other way this is a problem is when your facing very strong enemies where every hit counts. It starts you off with the underhand in the battle.

Controls
As you may have noticed, many iOS games suffer from terrible control schemes due probably to a lack of physical buttons on iOS devices. This has ruined countless games for me, as I’m so used to physical buttons on my consoles and my PC. This being said, I’m glad to say that Final Fantasy has overcome many of the control issues that plague many modern iOS games. The virtual joy sticks are both smooth and responsive, and that’s more than I could ever ask for.

Graphics
While not anything particularly revolutionary, the in-game graphics are impressive. While staying true to the original, they look vibrant and colorful on the IPhones Retina Display. I only wish that there were some form of cut screens to further the immerse you into the story, which brings us to my next point.

Story
The Final Fantasy game series is well know for it’s intricate, long, and sometimes outright painfully confusing story lines. In this aspect, Final Fantasy succeeds. It tells the tale of mysterious travelers who are foretold by ancient prophecies to save the world from impeding doom (Yea, because we have never seen THAT story before). While not being necessarily original, the story is well told is full of turns and twists.

Summary
In conclusion, this is one game I would highly suggest for any RPG fans that own an IPhone, IPod, or IPad. Its a full, entertaining experience, the likes of which you would be hard pressed to find elsewhere on the App Store. It’s a great game for the price, and a classic to boot.

- Sami

Fable 3 developed by Lionhead Studios originally released only for the Xbox 360, and then for PC in 2011, is an action/role playing game that I feel everyone should have a go at. Whether you want romance and babies; communicable diseases and clever innuendo; intrigue; kicking defenseless chickens to death; or you just want to kill monsters and characters that get in your way, Fable 3 has something to offer you. The game gives you the option of playing as a male or a female character. Both genders serve the same purpose, however for this review I will focus on the female character, keeping in mind that there is no difference except for the appearance of the character and minor characters making reference to your gender when marking your status within the kingdom.

The central female character does not conform to modern stereotype of the female figure; she is a statuesque brunette, and not particularly beautiful. As you gain power and experience in the game your height and weight increases, leaving you to be an amazon of a woman, though obesity is not an issue. To become a truly successful hero, your height and weight are monitored in your in-game menu. As you gain weight and height your hero status improves, which is wonderful for women because there does not appear to be any of the subliminal messaging, within the storyline, about body imaging that you see in so many other games that include female characters.

Basic storyline of Fable 3: You begin by choosing whether you will be a prince or a princess, once you have chosen this you are to begin the inevitable cut scenes that describe the games setting and prepare the player for the story to begin. In Fable 3 your story begins with you discovering that the country is in revolt against your brother, who has gone mad with power. After he makes you choose between the lives of your countrymen or the love of your life, you are forced to escape the castle with two trusted companions Walter Beck and Jasper (voiced by John Cleese!!!). Throughout most of your journey these two characters assist you in various ways, by gaining you access to various communities and supplying you with items and advice to help you in your various quests. But I digress from telling you that the main point is to travel the country to find and obtain the help of various rebel cells and communities to help overthrow the tyrant, your brother. In doing this you must pledge various favours to these communities, in the event that they should join you and help you successfully overthrow your brother.

Now I won’t ruin any more of the storyline, but I will go on to tell you that amidst this massive quest there are over one hundred minor quests to complete that award you guild seals that help you on the “Road to Rule”. The Road to Rule is a separate part of the storyline which maps your progress as a hero/heroine and allows you to upgrade your perks as a warrior.

While the main quest takes only a few hours (it took me roughly 5 hours each time) of gameplay, the offshoots of the main story and the smaller quests that you pick up along the way turn Fable 3 into endless hours of fun and challenges. If you want to contract STD’s from prostitutes, either male or female, these working people have no qualms about your gender, your marriage status, whether you are already infected with a communicable disease or your stature in life, they are more than happy to service your needs. Marriage is not an essential part of the game, but it is an amusing pastime, especially if you intend on gaining a few extra points for your gamer card. One of the achievements that you can complete on your quest is to marry at least 6 characters, and then kill 2 of them. There are many Xbox live achievements to complete, and every time a new downloadable content pack becomes available, more achievements appear. For those out there who play the game and attempt to obtain all of the live achievements, be warned that it is no easy feat to do so, and it will take a lot of time in single player and co-op missions.

There is a lot of downloadable content, both free and pre-paid that you can obtain for Fable 3. Quest packs, weaponry and various items for use within the game can be downloaded from within the game or from the DLC menu on the Xbox live dashboard. Fable 3’s in game menu (known as ‘The Sanctuary’, where Jasper, your butler, lives and communicates with you) allows you to view all relevant data for the game, including your progress on quests, comparative data from your friends’ games, and what DLC you have downloaded. There are free DLC packs available that provide you with the files to join the co-op games of other players who have already obtained the quest packs. In saying that, downloading the free items does not allow you to make us of the quest packs in your own game without paying for them.

Throughout the whole game, whether you are a prince or a princess, all characters, and their treatment of you is gender neutral. Both male and female characters complete the same quests, meet the same people, and are treated with fear and respect by all of the subjects, though this does not mean that your subjects automatically like you, for your subjects to like you, you are required to interact with them personally and complete tasks and quests for these people.

In summary, I feel that Fable 3 is a wonderful game suited to anyone, over the age of 16, who enjoys challenging quests, a good joke, and a great storyline. The game is not sexist, nor does it seem to be aimed at any particular gender. There is romance and wild and violent creatures for all, as well as a whole lot of innuendo, and bad jokes for everyone to enjoy. So if you own an Xbox 360 or a PC I would recommend you give Fable 3 a chance, it might just be the boredom buster you have been looking for.

Review by Sarah

It’s finally here, “Portal 2″ is with us. When “Portal” released back in late 2007 as part of “The Orange Box” compilation we were impressed. As our reviewer at the time stated “If you want to play something that’s a little different from the norm, you should definitely check out Portal”. Check it out many of us did and we fell in love with its innovative game mechanic and some of the best faceless characters (antagonist and protagonist alike) to invade our gaming.

It’s now 2011 and “Portal 2″ has hit shelves, I of course grabbed my Portal gun, headed to the game store, picked up the game, fired an orange portal into the wall to tie to the blue portal hole I had left in my office. I stepped through and the magic commenced.

“Portal 2″ picks up a century after the events of the first game (which I will brush over on the off chance you did not play it!). Our hero Chell is brought to by Wheatley, a personality sphere (a ball shaped robot) voiced by Stephen Merchant to great comedic affect. Fear not “Portal” fans, GLaDOS is also back, setting up a multitude of tests for you. For those who have not played the previous game, here’s a brief rundown on just what those tests involve. “Portal 2″ is – like its predecessor – a puzzle game. As female protagonist Chell, you must solve tests, the end objective of which is to get safely to the exit of a room / rooms. Chell uses a ‘portal gun’ as her main means of escape, the device fires portals (doors essentially) into flat surfaces, one orange and one blue. Stepping into one or the other sees Chell exit through the other. This innovative form of gameplay essentially bends the reality of a given room, with Chell able to fall from ceilings, appear in distant areas or utilize the portals to reach the all important exit.

The portal mechanic goes from fun and simple to the truly insane, with the introduction of gels, white that can be splashed on non portal surfaces to make them portal ready, orange to make surface super slippery and therefore fast and blue to make the surface bouncy. Though nothing is insurmountable, there were a couple of spots I found went from challenging to frustrating. This by no means ruined the experience however.

Along with its hugely clever gameplay mechanic, what makes “Portal 2″ brilliant is the characterisations. Though the game features essentially faceless characters, they are some of the most memorable, witty, charming characters in videogames.

Female Gamer Angle
Chell is the female protagonist in the game. She doesn’t speak and given the game is first person, you will rarely see her, only mere glimpses of her / you as you skip through portals. Despite her non vocal nature, she’s a great character and it was cool of Valve not to take the usual route and give us a male protagonist. The antagonist in “Portal 2″ is also female, if GLaDOS, a Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System can be said to have a gender. GLaDOS is superb, she is the Alexis Carrington of the game world, she’s bitchy, self absorbed and truly unforgettable. I’ll leave it at that given I don’t want to spoil any of the story in game, which is brilliant and ties Chell and GLaDOS together even further than the previous “Portal”.

The voice acting in “Portal 2″ needs to get a shout out, it is just superb. Ellen McLain as GLaDOS is just wonderful as the sarcastic bitch and charismatic antagonist. Stephen Merchant aka Ricky Gervais best mate plays Wheatley, an AI in the game who lends himself heavily to the story… and we’ll say no more about that. Finally there is J.K.Simmons who voices Aperture Laboratories CEO Cave Johnson, he is truly wonderful in the role as he imparts his wisdom and wit upon the player through soundbites in various levels, again though, you truly must discover it for yourself.

Overall “Portal 2″ is a wonderful game. Refined from the already innovative “Portal”, “Portal 2″ offers the player puzzles aplenty, wonderfully developed characters, great level design and some of the most comical in-game dialogue you’re likely to hear. The addition of the gels. those incredible physics based conundrums and a story that imparts a lot of history to the player means “Portal 2″ is a must buy for players of the previous game. For those who never purchased “The Orange Box”, naughty naughty! Go get it, then you can purchase “Portal 2″ and enjoy it in its entirety… oh one last thing, when you finish it, stay for the credits.

“Portal 2″ features multi-player elements. This review covers the single-player aspects.