Black Market Bowling – Review

Are you a genuine lover of Ten-Pin Bowling as an actual physical pastime but struggle to conquer its mechanics? Do you long to perfect a professional style but buckle and break while grappling with the weighted ball? Do you stare helplessly down the polished alley that seemingly stretches to infinity? Do your legs turn to jelly at the mere thought of your fractured abilities succumbing to public scrutiny? Do you shudder with fear during your delivery, hoping desperately that the ball doesn’t fly from your clammy grasp during the backswing and hurtle into your petrified friends? Does your ball unintentionally bounce into other people’s lanes when not hurtling down the gutters? In short, do you suck at bowling?

If so—and even if your skills are moderate—Midas Interactive and Black Market Games may have the economy-friendly solution with which to avoid the undue performance embarrassment inspired by all of the above. As a budget title, Black Market Bowling does exactly what it says on the tin. It offers a relaxed virtual bowling experience that leans heavily toward sporadic ‘pick up and play’ thanks to its welcome lack of forced narrative or unnecessary statistical distractions. That said, bowling in its entirety isn’t exactly an activity that could seriously promote involved player interest should managerial or evolutionary elements be evident. You grab a ball, you hurl it at the pins, you cross your fingers, and you curse when left with a split. It’s pretty simple really.

Initially, the game offers up a limited selection of playable characters, all sporting unique bowling balls and varying levels of skill in Speed, Spin, and Accuracy. By successfully taking your chosen character through the game’s selection of alley environments, other more skilful bowlers are unlocked. The character’s themselves range from burly and powerful, slick and lithe, to the weak and feeble, all with separate design and personality imprints, be that a hooded and mysterious street kid, a doddering granny, or a hippy stoner. After each bowl the characters graphically and verbally respond depending on their performance, but unfortunately this soon becomes irritating due to strictly limited dialogue. “Yes! I am a strong man, and you are a loser!” mocks the stocky eastern European construction worker while gesticulating rudely to no one in particular. “Disssmisssed!” yells the military G. I. Jane look-alike while saluting and spinning on her booted heels (Note: none of the characters are forced to relinquish their footwear in favor of those truly hideous bowling shoes.). You get the idea. Thankfully a simple button press advances the reaction scenes so growing annoyance can be avoided.

Graphically, Black Market Bowling finds itself strictly limited due to the subject matter. The environment selections are obviously little more than variations on a singular design; there’s little else to be done in this regard. Sweeping establishing shots would be completely superfluous and redundant, as would any exploitation of extraneous interior camera work. The alleys are thoroughly likable from a visual standpoint and offer background details such as views through the windows of a skyscraper, or out onto a sun-drenched beach. But the alleys never overwhelm the bowling itself, which is a good thing. The character animation is a little disappointing. The bowling deliveries and reaction shots are somewhat stiff, and characters sometimes seem to slide through their walk cycles rather than convincingly step. Of course, this perhaps could have been negated as an intentional detail if those hideous bowling shoes had been forced upon them. In terms of aesthetic gameplay addition, it would have been a plus to include some form of upgrade store to each alley so that players could garner a little more depth from each environment. As it is, the environmental variations slide past without every truly evoking a sense of wanting to stay or return.

The audio capabilities of Black Market Bowling aptly capture the hustle and bustle of life on an alley. The echoes of distant pins tumbling in other, largely unseen, games permeates the air, and your own game sound is thoroughly convincing, too. Chatter and laughter can also be heard across the alley, which adds to the aural immersion. Each environment offers up a distinct musical accompaniment, be that through background piano pieces (including an on-screen pianist), pulsing electronica, or laid back jazzy numbers. All of the game’s music is performed by actual bands, though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll have heard of them. All the music pleasingly passes the test of subtle interaction while incurring zero aural damage…apart from the truly abhorrent rock band that make Oasis sound like revolutionary mavericks.

The core of any game, regardless of its price point, is gameplay. Initially, Black Market Bowling performs well as per the physical aspects of the bowling experience. Ball power, direction, and delivery are all easily handled by the player through a HUD performance meter that most closely resembles those seen in the PGA golf series. A single button press sends a needle around the meter toward the player’s default power limit. A second button press, hopefully within this range, brings the needle back to the start point where a third press gauges accuracy. Button presses falling outside of the character’s set ranges of power and accuracy will, well…you shouldn’t be surprised by missing the centre of the pins, or becoming a close friend of the gutters. Your character’s bowling ball of choice also sits in the centre of the performance meter and players can apply spin before delivery with a press of the necessary shoulder buttons. And it’s here where Black Market Bowling begins to falter.

As well observed as the spin function is, its application transferring smoothly to the actual bowling, it serves absolutely no purpose. The A.I. characters never opt for its use…so why should the central player? Hurling the ball down the centre of the alley seems to garner a much more reliable score, whereas spinning the ball is a foray into trial and error. This development ignorance concerning the actual professional approach to bowling, so far removed from that of a simple enthusiast, is what contributes so heavily to Black Market Bowling’s unfortunate failure. The lack of learning curve or emergent difficulty against progressive A.I. characters quickly drags the game towards the unwelcome realms of boredom as players will be left with scant little more than a rinse and repeat exercise of precise timing and careful central positioning. Unlocking characters and variations on included environments aren’t enough to bolster the longevity of the game. Neither are its limited play modes and multiplayer feature.

From a female angle, Black Market Bowling’s lady characters range from a creepy gothic girl, a military ball buster, a miniskirt-clad schoolgirl, a frumpy housewife, and a sporty street chick whose thong is exposed above her low-rider jogging bottoms. Positive roll models and interesting female representations? Hmm, you decide. And from a hard of hearing standpoint, deaf gamers are not able to experience the limited character dialogue via subtitles—though, to be honest, that’s no bad thing—and you’ll be thankful to avoid the rock dirge, too.

Budget titles offer a budget gaming experience; we would be foolish to expect anything else. Yet, Black Market Bowling could so easily have transcended that, frankly, lazy development guideline if Midas and Black Market Games had just implemented a sense of player evolution while offsetting it with tangible difficulty. Without it, the game thumps clumsily into the budget bracket and thoroughly deserves its average rating. Shame.

Review by Stevie